Resources > Seminarian Parent Articles > Patrick and Joan Stokely

Name: Patrick and Joan Stokely

How big is your family?
Our family consists of Joan, Patrick and our only child and son, John.

What was it like raising your family in the Church?  Give an idea of what it was like raising your family, and the faith life present in your home.  Any family devotions/faith practices?
We always had a practice of saying night prayers before going to bed. John, from a young child, made up his own prayer and it was the family tradition to say it all together. John could recite the Our Father at the age of 3 thanks to the dedication of his Pop-Pop who would work with John every day as they played legos. During Lent, we would write down on strips of paper a number of various deeds we would commit to for a particular day. It was a way to make the season of Lent exciting and fun along with the practice of penitential preparation.

What was it like for you and for your family when your son first told you he was thinking of entering the seminary?  What was your reaction, the reaction of family and friends?
We were very happy with the news of John’s courageous decision to discern the call to priesthood. He informed us of this on December 8, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. John received great support from his friends at Bishop Shanahan who felt that this was a great thing that he was embarking upon. Family was also supportive of this for John. We did encounter some who questioned if we were sad that we would not have the opportunity to become grandparents. We were always quick to respond that if this is God’s will for John, that all the people he serves will be that for us and more.

What proved helpful to YOU during your son’s discernment process?  What
were your fears, concerns or surprises along the way?
Prayer was certainly a critical factor in supporting John as well as being able to respond to whatever negativity that we faced along the way. What surprised us was how strong John was himself in responding to what he would be exposed to as well in this regard. It seemed that his faith and resolve to discern became stronger as a result.

What is it like now having a son studying to be a priest?
Great! We know that John is doing the right thing now in his life discerning the call to Priesthood. We also have confidence that he is being formed in all aspects of being a responsible adult. He is receiving a terrific education in addition to the spiritual aspects.

What role do you play as a parent in your son’s current discernment?
We listen, pray and encourage John in this endeavor.

How do you think parents should encourage vocations to the priesthood within the home?
Parents should encourage this as a noble “profession” that cares for the immortal souls of all of God’s people. A physician can only delay the inevitable of the death of the body, but a Priest can assist the healing of wounded souls in preparation for eternal life.

To a parent who has a son who is considering the call, what would you tell them?
Encourage your son, increase your prayer life and pray for perseverance. Be prepared for all of the questions that may come from well intentioned people who do not realize the wonder of this call. Pray for patience in explaining that your son is “normal” and is willing to offer his life in service to the Lord. This is something we are all called to do in some form or another. The Priesthood is a special way that benefits us all.

Anything else you’d like to share?
Like everything in our lives, this is a free will choice to respond to God’s call. This is a discernment process to pray fully and intellectually determine if this is God’s desire for your son. He will not go this path alone but will have the assistance of good men who truly want what is best for them and for the Church.